The Intention Project

Life is such an incredible journey.  Always refining, evolving, redefining.  Add in the paramount role of parenthood and you can more or less multiply that by a thousand. 

Perhaps one thing I'm {learning} to appreciate most as a mother, is how quickly we learn what’s truly important and even more so, what isn’t. 

So here I sit, those very ‘things’ tip top of mind.  And it looks nothing like I ever could have predicted.  Motherhood has mellowed me, calmed me, brought so much I once dreamed of to a halt.  Some of those things sit on the back burner simmering, waiting to be brought forth again.  Some have been buried likely never to be resurrected.  And many new are being birthed even now, emerging from the soil like early Spring tulips and daffodils, always a pleasant surprise, often unexpected…  alive, vibrant, full of promise of what’s to come. 

As we’ve settled into a beautiful season at the cottage the last many months, what began as a wrestling to manage life and all its caveats, to take on parenting in addition to everything else… became exhausting.  Frustrating.  Disappointing when day after day it couldn’t all be done.  At least not without someone or something suffering.  I want so desperately to keep writing and blogging, to continue accepting speaking invitations, to submit book proposals and brainstorm new ideas and dreams.  But these things take an incredible amount of time and energy.  More than I have to give, quite literally.  And I’m not a halfway kind of girl.  I believe in putting excellence forth in everything I put my hand to.  And the reality is, there’s simply not enough time in the day anymore.  Not with a toddler.  Not with the desire for more children brewing.  Not with the reality of what God is showing us is coming in the weeks and months ahead.  (and let's not even discuss laundry and dishes and meal prep and grocery getting and animal tending and garden keeping and bill paying and errand running and endless day to day stuff)

It took me many, many long months of wrestling to finally admit that doing it all was frustrating and disappointing.  If I were really honest, it had become more burden than blessing.  More obligation than fulfillment.  So I prayed.  I spoke with my dearest friends and mentors.  I cried to my husband.  I prayed some more.  And finally decided to lay it all down.  At least for now. 

The weight that lifted when I finally made the decision was sweet, entirely unexpected relief.  Because letting go means one beautiful, timeless, sacred thing: I can now be fully present in my life. 

There’s so much more to this story, but I’ll let it tell itself when it’s ready.  As for now, I’m beyond happy to declare what this new season practically looks like.  In lieu of all else, our days will look something like this, including but certainly not limited to the following:

~hand written notes and letters

~tea time with beautiful friends and mamas

~reading, oh how I’ve missed it

~long walks

~coffee dates

~giving lots and lots of beautiful things away, just because

~picture taking galore

~many hours logged in my kitchen, particularly trying new recipes

~care packages, meals for new moms and sick friends and neighbors

~crafting

~picnics, tons of them

~sifting thru stacks of cookbooks

~ridiculous amounts of time spent watching the chickens peck around the yard

~never hesitating to take a nap with my girl if she needs me

~long meals with friends

~leisurely time in the baking corner

~hosting friends at family at our pretend b&b

~an ‘intention basket’ specifically for phones and electronics.  Once Josh arrives home for the day, no more mindless, exhausted zoning on social media.  Real rest and connectedness.

And more than anything else, uninterrupted, undistracted time.  With my tiny girl.  With my husband.  With friends and family.  Real connection.  Real life.  Beautiful, imperfect, sacred life.  I've been fondly referring to it as 'the intention project.'  Giving it a name creates a whole new level of awareness which I'm loving.

I’ll still be blogging from time to time, but more for the simple joy of sharing my heart at length with you.  I’m not holding myself to any particular number of posts or goals, simply when there’s something inspirational or beautiful to share, or when I want to capture some moment or memory. 

I will be spending more time on Instagram.  It’s such an incredible and encouraging community full of inspirational people and beautiful photos.  From artists and photographers to everyday moms, I’ve found it such a haven of rest and encouragement and beauty.  Not to mention it totally scratches my ‘must create’ itch in a single photo and few sentences.  We’re talking 5 minutes vs 5 hours (or lets be real, 5 DAYS) it takes when blogging. 

So there it is, where I’m at these days.  No specific expectations or goals, just being.  Living with intention and purpose.  Loving and serving well.  Rest and reprieve.  I can't begin to tell you how it thrills me.

I’d love to connect with you.  I’d love to hear your story, where you are on this gorgeous journey of life.  Send me a note or message, or let’s grab coffee.  Real connection.  It’s what life is about.

xoxo,

Terrica Joy 

P.S. If you'd like to join me, I'd love it.  Direct links to my personal social media accounts top right. #theintentionproject

Summer Nights

Summer nights are for grilling, balsamic chicken and searing flank steak.  Sweet corn on the cob fresh from the garden, skewers of shrimp with lime and herbs, thick slices of zucchini dizzled with olive oil.

Summer nights are for staying up too late, my girl playing in the water hose as I attempt to water the flowers, her diaper soggy and sagging from ‘helping.’

Summer nights are for dessert at the lake, watching the sun set, the sailboats come and go.  For feeding the ducks and geese and one lone swan, worrying about the fuzzy babies separated from their moma’s.  For chatting with the elderly woman who comes every single night with bags of bread in hand.  She sets up her lawn chair and waits for the flock.  They know her well, they expect her.  They eat from her hand until the bags are empty and she ushers them across the street to bed down, halting traffic when necessary. 

Summer nights are for homemade pizza ‘picnics’ in our bedroom floor, our girl dancing and twirling scattering crumbs near and far. 

Summer nights are for country drives, when the daylight lingers long and we squeeze out every last drop of life, savoring this slow season of joy and simplicity.

Summer nights are for driving up to the hill that rises over the water, city skyline imposed on a purple evening sky.  Our girl sleeping strapped in her seat, we stare out at the lingering sailboats and talk, and plan, and dream. 

A season of ending and beginning at once. 

That’s what summer is for us.  Always has been, it seems.  It brings with it transformation, the heart kind, the life kind.  I’ve come to expect it. 

Fall is coming.  We can almost taste it now.  A few more weeks of summer and then… bliss.  Forever my favorite for a thousand reasons: crunchy leaves, pumpkins, cool weather, travel.  But also for us, something more:  Fall is when the hard work of summer soul labor is finally done, the deep, hard, introspective kind, and we feast.  We feast on life, and love, and God.  We experience the fullness of transformation.  We rejoice.  We give thanks.

The work isn’t quite done this season.  There’s more toil yet still.  But oh-so-soon… the anticipation is is mounting.

A Quiet Stroll Down a Dirt Road

Want to take a little stroll in the country with me?  

We'll move slowly, deliberately, drinking it all in the way we were meant to.  I'll point out all the pretty things like a lush pear tree full of fruit, looming, blooming crape myrtle draped against a perfect country garden and whimsical row of rusted shovels. 

Friendly goats begging for a petting, spaghetti squash lounging beneath green vines, straw hat and overalls doing the evening picking... just as the day before, the day after.  

Happy chickens searching for bugs, antique insulators in shades of aqua blue, baby okra reaching for the sun, a little goat named Grasshopper putting on a show.

The man tending stalks, quietly, intentionally.  Sugar sweet corn, perfect even raw straight from the stalk.   A crossing marking the spot where trees are milled into lumber and lovingly crafted into beautiful benches, chests, serving boards.

A dirt road where I spent decades of life and hope to spend decades more, buckets of ears, green tomatoes on the vine.

A roadside sea of sunflowers, small harvest to bring home, and a darling girl we'd have to drag away despite being so exhausted from the fullness of perfect summer fun that she'd sleep nearly the next two days.

Most people would glance at these images and see nothing more than a simple country homestead.    

I see beauty in every direction I look.  Intention, sweat, long hours of dedication and devotion.  I see a family built, provided for, fought for.  I see faith, in more things than I can count.  I see humility and pride waltzing together perfectly, precisely the way they should.  I see growth, I see hope, I see love.

I see home. 

I marvel to think I was made to live here, grow here, become myself here.  It was no accident, not in the least. Rarely a single day passes I'm not grateful.  Grateful, for all of it. 

 Have a lovely day, friends!  Drink in every beautiful moment, no matter how small.

A Scoop of Reality

We interrupt your regularly scheduled focus-on-all-things-lovely reading to bring you...

THE MELTDOWN

So you know that scene in the movie The Holiday where Cameron Diaz and Jude Law are having lunch and he asks about her past and her family?  And she almost panics and says something like,"I'll try to say it fast..."​  Remember that?

I'm taking a cue from Cameron.

Tuesday.  Approx 6:15 pm.  I threw together dinner and sat down with Josh as he filled me in on the happenings of his day.  I tried to eat but Everyn wanted up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down.  The she signed she wanted to nurse.  Then she bit me.  Then Josh tried to take her.  Epic fail.​

The dogs were yapping and begging for food and dishes were everywhere despite my best efforts and I just wanted to ask my husband a question that was weighing heavily on me.  ​Just, omg.  Just one question.  I needed his feedback.

Just as I was launching into it, he got up to clear the table breaking the all important eye contact, Ev threw her head back tantrum style because clearly no one had a clue what she wanted, and I snapped.​

There was some yelling and baby screaming and he took Ev outside to calm her and I might have screamed into a pillow.  (I do that now.  Post baby.  It's my thing and it's terrific.  It releases all the tension all built up in my muscles and teeth and soul.  No, I'm not kidding.  Some days it saves my life.  Ok now it sounds like I do it all the time.  I don't.  I can count on one hand how many... whatever.  What am I trying to justify.  On occasion I scream into a pillow.  There I said it.  And it's great.)

ANYWAY.  Did I mention I was supposed to be writing?  Yep.  Tuesdays and Thursdays are highly guarded writing nights.  ​Josh takes Everyn on a little date somewhere and I write.  So he finally loaded her up in the stroller and took off, and I sat down to... stew.  To grit my teeth.  To obsess about my frustrations.

Can we just assume no writing was accomplished?  Cool.  We're on the same page.​

A few hours later after Ev was down, I sat across from him in our bathroom post apology and sobbed something like this:​

"I just feel like I can't.... I don't know what to... there's so much laundry.  Ugh.​  So much laundry... there's sand in our bed and I hate the dogs... I just want the house to be clean for like, 5 minutes...  I need more sleep... my whole body hurts all. the. time.  I can't stop eating sugar and I never go for walks anymore and there are so many house projects I just... ugh... I just don't... I just feel like... why is my Ivy dying??  I have to finish this book proposal... when will I ever finish this proposal?  And books, oh, I love them... do you think I'll ever get to read a whole book again??  I just feel like I can't... I don't know what to... is that a cup of sand in the bathtub?!"

He was kind and forgiving and gracious as always, and helped me identify exactly what was bothering me and come up with a plan to help.​

And suddenly I felt ​better than I have in months.  

He had also came home with three tiny containers of Haagen Dazs which I sat on the counter and devoured without apology.  I think it was like, a zillion calories.  That helped, too.  

So to all you moma's out there in the trenches, I'm with ya!  We'll survive this together.  Somehow.  If all else fails, there's always screaming pillows and Haagen Dazs.

​We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...​

Everyn's 1st Birthday

An unforgettable day.  

We filled it with pretty dresses, a lakeside picnic, candlelit cupcakes, and tons of hugs and kisses.

It was perfection.​

Everyn Saige, you are our heart.  ​

Blog Update {and a few irresistible photos}

Where have you guys BEEN!?  Juuust kidding!  I know, I know... I've been absolutely MIA for the past two months now.  I was swallowed up in the abyss of major transition, and I have to admit, this particular abyss has been even deeper and darker than I could have imagined.  I've had a number of melt downs and freak outs over the weeks, trying desperately to get settled.  It's felt nearly impossible to be honest, and a tad defeating.  Why you ask??  Oh, do let me explain.  

New baby + 3 months nice and settled + insane decision to move + renovation craziness + teething + new atmosphere for baby negates nice routine + boxes everywhere + Josh needs eye surgery, why not +deciding we need to sell half of said boxes, way too overwhelming + needing to buy new stuff because of insane decision to sell half of said boxes + we need chickens + homeownership is intense, plumber-what? mow yard, huh? + we must start composting, like, now + where are the chickens going to live? + our neighborhood rocks, must make bff's of ALL neighbors asap + is Ev really teething or is it in my head? + what do you mean the trees need trimming lest they crush us in our sleep?! + so many yummy new cafes to try, let's never cook again! + I love/hate Home Depot + no more painting please, ever, I love neon green, no really + lots of company + I miss cooking + let's start a Bible study! + why isn't the faucet working? + why isn't the disposal working? + weddings + showers + birthdays + let's go to Nashville next week! + why do the dogs keep peeing in the floor? + I can't lift a 500 lb piano, you do it + did you just knock a hole in my freshly painted wall with that antique armoire + where are the washer and dryer again?? + is she trying to crawl? + why does my back feel a thousand years old? + seriously, are we teething or what? = um, let's redesign the blog

 You totally followed that, right??

So yes, life has obviously been incomprehensibly crazy of late.  And with the seasons changing both literally and metaphorically it seemed the perfect (although inconvenient) time to shift gears here as well, so the blog is currently in the middle of reorganization and a fresh new design.  It's all consuming at the moment, but I'll be back blogging in full force very shortly with loads of new content and features!  I'm so looking forward to it!  (and to everyone who's asked to see pics of the house, yes, there will be lots of those, too)  

I can't very well leave you without a bit of eye candy to tide you over, though...

6 months of pure bliss.  She rocks my world.

See you guys very shortly!